Strategies and Solutions in the Words of Parents
“When she was very upset in a specific class (often due to some social issue with someone) she could leave the classroom and go to a quiet area (for instance in a small chapel in the school or empty guidance office) and play guitar in order to self soothe. There was an understanding that she would return to the classroom within a set time period.”
“When she was having a really bad day, she could “opt out” of going to her classes and instead sit in the back of a classroom of a teacher that she had a trusting and good relationship with. Often she would use the time to complete her day’s assignments (some teachers would send in to her) or homework. In between classes, she and the classroom teacher would just talk about anything she wanted. It helped to calm her down a lot.”
“She had tremendous social anxiety. We “pre-arranged” for a teacher in a subject that she excelled in to use her as a classroom assistant, helping other kids in areas she was strong in (like math) and doing other jobs in class. It made her feel good about herself and interact with others.”
“It can sometimes be really difficult and frustrating to ask a teacher to be excused from class. To prevent conflict and embarrassment, it was agreed that if my child had to leave class because she was becoming anxious or dysregulated, she could simply let the teacher know she needed a pass. She could then go to the guidance department and sit there till she felt calm enough to return to class. Not feeling like she was trapped in class helped make it easier for her to attend school.”
“Because of sleep issues, which are common with BPD, the guidance department helped build a schedule where her schedule didn’t start till second period. This also helped because she had less classes, but was still able to stay on track to finish High School.”
Tips for Family Members
Be involved in your child’s education. Even though they are now in college, they need you as an advocate and for support.
Shift expectations to create academic goals that are achievable and realistic while loved ones are in treatment. For example, believing that “my child MUST attend a four year university” may not be realistic. Explore academic settings, whether short or long-term, which allow your child to adhere to treatment and educational goals.
Take self-harm behaviors, which are common during the college years, seriously. Those diagnosed with BPD are at high risk for suicidality and overdose. If you see signs of abuse, address these behaviors with professionals, and your loved one, immediately as part of a larger safety plan.
Strategies for Communicating with School Professionals
Provide school personnel with resources about the BPD diagnosis: what it is, what it isn’t (i.e. teenage acting out/rebellion), how it impacts life, and ways it may impact functioning in the school environment.
Identify school personnel who can offer support such as the Vice Principal, dean, guidance counselor, school social worker, school psychologist, parent coordinator.
Most educators are not specifically trained in supporting young people with BPD. However, educators can often can adapt to meet your child’s special needs if they are aware of them and if they are documented.
Maintain ongoing communication with school personnel. They want to support your child’s learning, but need to be aware of the severity of their mental health issues to be able to effectively do so.
